Multiple truths in midlife

Even before reaching peri-menopause or midlife, the pull of my own truth has always been very strong for me, for which I am very grateful. Even when I’ve been doing things that were expected by mainstream culture like getting a degree, getting married and having children, I’ve done them in a way that reflected my truth.

I did do a degree but I chose psychology, it doesn’t sound radical but it felt it at the time and was met with some resistance! My need to understand myself and others, to figure out why I felt out of place in the world and to find ways of feeling better, was strong enough to override what I was ‘supposed’ to be doing and has always been part of my truth.

I did get married and although this was probably the furthest I’ve veered from my own truth, some parts of that truth were still found during my married years.

I did have children but I birthed them at home, parented them as gently as I was able to and home educated them. This last choice had a massive positive impact on my life and those of my kids. It’s shaped my last fifteen years and with only one more year to go I feel a little bit sad to be coming to the end of this journey. Home educating brought us community and a sense of belonging that I didn’t even know existed, I certainly never imagined I’d feel it.

At the same time it consumed a lot of time and energy and, as the strongest pull in my life, I’m beginning to wonder how much it drowned out other pulls. Although the choice to home educate benefitted me as much as my kids and has given me a lifestyle and a community that is true to who I am, it meant that during many years as a single parent, my time for my work was limited, and my work certainly carries the pull of truth for me.

During my single home ed parent years I was able to train as an EFT practitioner and then advanced practitioner and to see clients part time so I was able to live both of those truths at the same time to an extent. But let’s not paint everything rosy here, single parenting is hard! The bulk of the focus was on the kids by necessity and I found glimmers of my own truth both within and outside of that focus where I could.

But now the balance is shifting. Now I begin to find that I have more time for my work, for the interests that pull me just for their own sake. As I step into midlife it occurs to me that the transformation from focus on others to focus on the self could be a transition from one truth to another. I’ve been thinking about it as a move from doing other people’s things with a sense of servitude to doing my own things with a sense of joy but what if there’s always been joy in both? What if the other people’s things were my things too?

For me at least, I think this is true. Bringing up my kids was one facet of my truth, women’s empowerment and trauma recovery work is another. Perhaps our truth is always multiple? Maybe there’s never just one answer that we are called to correctly pick out of a million different options? Maybe living in alignment with who we really are actually offers infinite possibilities, all of which are right? To me that’s a thought that feels like peace!

If you’re navigating your midlife transformation, or any other time of transformation or healing, you’d be very welcome to get in touch for a free 30 minute chat to see if I can support you. If you’d like to be part of a beautifully supportive group of women, whatever stage in life and healing you’re at, you’d be very welcome at our women’s circle. Both can be booked on this link www.healingwomanhood.com/book-online