Healthy Relationships

On our Patreon membership and YouTube channel we have a theme for our videos each month.

Throughout June we'll be healing our relationships by unpicking and rewriting some of our old beliefs.

We’ll begin on Friday 7th June with the belief that love has to be earned.

Perhaps you grew up thinking that in order to be loved, or respected, or have friends, you had to do certain things, act in a certain way or achieve certain things.

In our first tapping we look at where that belief might have come from and we question whether it's really true for you today. We open up to the knowledge of our own lovability and to a feeling of safety around receiving love and we end our first round of tapping with some positive affirmations.

Our second tapping in video one creates space for us to revisit that part of us that learned that love was conditional. We make space for that part to tell her story, show us why she believed that and we speak directly to her, allowing her to feel seen and heard. We explain to her that she always deserved to be loved unconditionally and we make room for unconditional self love.

On June 14th we explore the concept of trust. Trust is something that can be difficult for those of us who've been hurt before and today we reflect on how that feels. Who do you trust and what do you trust them to do or be? Trust isn't something that we either have or we don't, it varies from person to person, situation to situation and that's entirely appropriate.

In our first tapping we consider how trust can vary and we tap to learn to trust ourselves first of all, knowing that we can trust our own judgement on who else in our lives deserves our trust and when. We look at any fears we might have around the possibility of getting it wrong or making mistakes and we delve into the advantages of learning to trust including deeper connections and stronger relationships, remembering as we go that our own self trust always comes first.

In our second tapping of week 2 we go back in time to when we first learnt it wasn't safe to trust. This may have been an experience with parents or siblings or it may have come later in romantic relationships. We spend some time with the part of us who had those experiences and make space to hear her story, before reassuring her that things are different now and working together with her to release the old belief, making room to let love in.

On June 21st we continue our theme by exploring the belief that we’re not as important as something or someone else.

It might be that we feel that we’re less important than our partner’s work or less important to our friends than their partners. We might feel, or even have been told that we’re less important than our kids so we begin today by connecting with the relationships in our lives that make us feel unimportant.

In our first tapping we then begin to re-examine and question this belief, perhaps there is no hierarchy of things and people in order of importance. During the course of our tapping we gradually shift the focus away from how important we are to others and begin to consider how important we are to ourselves, choosing to put ourselves first and prioritise our own needs. We consider the possibility that there may be some conversations we need to have where people are letting us down repeatedly and ultimately we choose to give ourselves what we are seeking from others.

In our second tapping of video three, we dig down into the origins of the belief that we’re unimportant. After pinpointing exactly where this comes from for us, we revisit the young part of us that learnt to believe it, taking the time to see her and hear her, acknowledging her sadness and pain and then gently letting her know that she was always important. We reframe the events of the past with an adult understanding.

In our final video on June 28th we begin to question and re-frame the belief ‘I’m not good enough’. Most of us have some variation on this belief, it might be ‘I’m not pretty enough’ or ‘cool enough’ or something else entirely. We begin by tuning in to what that belief is for us in relation to relationships.

We begin our tapping by connecting with and questioning the belief and noticing any memories that come up in connection with it. There may have been times when we felt not good enough and our mind will often throw these out as evidence that our belief is true. We use our tapping to reinterpret these memories and events and move into the possibility that we have always been enough. We end our first tapping round by tapping in the belief that ‘I am enough no matter what’ and we connect with the joy that comes with that knowledge. For most of us this belief runs deep so this would be a good tapping to repeat regularly and notice how things change over time.

In our second tapping we revisit that young part of ourselves who first learnt to believe she wasn’t good enough. We make space for her to be seen and heard, to tell her story and we acknowledge the hard work she’s been doing all this time trying to keep us safe by reminding us that we aren’t good enough. When she has told us all about it and we’ve heard and witnessed her without judgement we can then explain to her how things are different now, we no longer need that belief and it’s time for her to rest at last and let us take over.

You can find free shorter versions of all of these videos over on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy9-OZEHML3_qoXCUvUDmBw

For the full versions, visit Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/HealingWomanhood