Sleep like a baby

I’ve never really thought of sleep as something I’ve struggled with because I can fall asleep really easily but what I do have a problem with is waking in the night for the bathroom and struggling to get back to sleep. It’s one of those minor niggles in life that’s never felt like a big enough problem to work on so it was quite nice to have the opportunity to look at it today.

I’ve never really connected my wakeful periods with a lack of safety so approaching that possibility with openness was interesting. My conscious mind had an idea of where I would probably go - back to a time of ongoing trauma when sleep left me vulnerable and quite unsafe -  but as I opened up and allowed my subconscious to lead me I found myself travelling further back than that, right back into early childhood and having nightmares sleeping alone in my room. Our subconscious minds are great at taking us where we need to go with our healing in a way that our conscious minds can’t predict. Thinking about it from an evolutionary perspective it is built into our cells to know that being alone at night is unsafe - we don’t have the protection of the tribe, we could get eaten by a tiger - so although sleeping in my own room as a child isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when I think of trauma and feeling unsafe, it still makes sense that it came up. As I tapped I was able to connect with that younger version of me, hear her fears and be with her, reassuring her that it is safe to go to sleep. I wonder what impact this will have on my sleep over the coming nights?

The other aspect of the tapping that really resonated with me was about healthy sleep habits. Although it isn’t mentioned in the words, my mind reminded me that I need to stop drinking water at least an hour before bedtime so that I may not need to wake in the night at all. This is one of those things I know but don’t do so the reminder was welcome and the tapping on it stopped me from getting in my own way!

I think my favourite part of this week’s resources was the hibernation meditation (Patreon only). In mine I became a bear and immediately felt drowsy just from being so big and cuddly. Burrowing into the earth I felt safe and held and utterly ready for rest. One thing I did  notice during the meditation was a spike of anxiety in my tummy at the words ‘nothing but rest for months and months’. It would have been really tempting to just ignore this sensation and stay with the meditation but it only took a short time of looking and examining it to realise that it came from my worthiness wound which tells me that I always need to be producing and achieving in order to be worthy. Having recognised that, I was able to return and enjoy the rest of the meditation safe in the knowledge that we have some great resources coming up in November all about worthiness so I’ll have plenty of opportunity to nurture that part.

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